A friend sent this email to my hubby and it really touched my heart. Hope it also does the same to you as you read it. May God alway bless our marriage…
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
By: Bo Sanchez
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
“How do I know if I married the right person?” I noticed that there was a
large man sitting next to her so I said, “It depends. Is that your husband?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this
question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.
Here’s the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your
spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.
Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely
natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s
why it’s called “falling” in love… because it’s happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet.” Think about the
imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there;
doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience. But
after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle
of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),
touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead
of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking,
“Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the
euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience
with someone else. This is when marriages break down. People blame
their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for
fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church,
a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer
to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m
not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And
TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few
years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
The Key To Succeeding in
Marriage Is Not Finding The Right
Person; It’s Learning To Love The
Person You found!
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER
just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it
day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.”
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes
WISDOM.. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no
mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you
can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as
there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are
also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program
makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make
your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and
apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can “make” love.
Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”.. . not just a feeling.
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